30 Days of Sentence Writing - Day 27
When Americans notice business and politics mingling in other countries they often see it as a sign of institutional decay, crony capitalism or authoritarianism.
That decade has witnessed the rise of homeowners’ associations, as well as the introduction of legislation requiring more consideration of citizens’ concerns.
[分数] [4/5]
S01
分析
When Americans notice business and politics mingling in other countries they often see it as a sign of institutional decay, crony capitalism or authoritarianism.
当美国人注意到其他国家的商业和政治混在一起时，他们往往认为这是制度衰落、裙带资本主义或权威主义的标志。
【结构】When …, A often see it as a sign that … (这里 that 引导同位语从句)
【解析】
[主干]
they often see it as … see … as … 把 … 看作是 …, 这里 it 指代前面提到的 notice business and politics mingling in other countries (注意到其他国家的商业和政治混在一起), as a sign of … 作宾语补足语, 介词 of 后面连接三个并列的介词宾语 institutional decay(制度衰落，宾语1), crony capitalism (裙带资本主义，宾语2) 和 authoritarianism (威权主义，宾语3)
[修饰主干的部分]
时间状语从句 When Americans notice business and politics mingling in other countries 句型结构是 notice sb doing sth.，business and politics 是宾语, mingling 作宾语补足语。
仿写
科技话题
中文：
当孩子们随时随地都低头看手机的时候，我们往往认为这是科技反过来束缚我们的标志。
参考译文：
When children are staring at their phones at all times, we often see it as as sign that we are becoming a slave to technology.
我的回答：
When children play their phones anywhere anytime, we often see it as a sign that we are bounded by the technology.
评价：
the technology -> technology; To talk in general about the practical use of scientific discoveries, don’t say ‘the technology’, just say technology.
环境话题
中文：
当马路充满随手乱扔的生活垃圾的时候，我们往往认为这是当地居民没有环境责任感的标志。
参考译文：
When the streets are littered with household rubblish, we often see it as a sign that local residents have no sense of environmental resposibility.
我的回答：
When roads are filled with throwaway household waste, we often see it as a sign of residents are lacking in environmental responsibilities.
评价：
as a sign of -> as a sign that
文化传统话题
中文：
当中国的年轻人热衷于庆祝国外节日的时候，我们往往认为这是传统文化吸引力减弱的标志。
参考译文：
When young people in China are keen on celebrating foreign holidays, we often see it as a sign that the appeal of our traditional culture is waning.
我的回答：
When Chinese young people are interested in celebrating foreign festivals, we often see it as a sign of attraction decline in traditional cultures.
评价：
句子结构处理得当
个人品质话题
中文：
当一个人夸夸其谈的时候，我们往往认为这意味着这个人并没有他所宣称的那样有能力。
参考译文：
When a person only talks the talk but does not walk the walk, we often see it as a sign that he is not as capable as he claims to be.
我的回答：
When one bragging on oneself, we often see it as a sign that one are not as powerful as one said.
评价：
- one are -> one is; 注意主谓一致
- When on bragging on oneself -> When one brags about himself
S02
分析
That decade has witnessed the rise of homeowners’ associations, as well as the introduction of legislation requiring more consideration of citizens’ concerns.
那十年见证了业主协会的兴起，同时也引入了要求更多地考虑公民关切的立法。
【结构】This decade has witnessed A, as well as B + -ing / -ed …
【解析】
[主干]
That decade has witnessed the rise of homeowners' associations, as well as the introduction of legislation. 这里 as well 是 as well as 的缩略，意思是“除 … 之外”，可以把这整个短语看作连词的作用；
[修饰主干的部分]
requiring more consideration of citizens' concerns 是现在分词做后置定语，修饰 legislation。
仿写
科技话题
中文：
这十年见证了智能手机的崛起，同时也见证了移动互联网的兴盛，它促进了知识和信息的传播。
参考译文：
This decade has witnessed the rise of smartphones, as well as the boom of the mobile Internet, which facilitates the spread of knowledge and information.
我的回答：
This decade has witnessed the rising of smartphones, as well as the prosperity of mobile internet which promote the transmission of information and knowledge.
评价：
- promote -> promotes; 注意主谓一致问题
- rising -> rise; n. 上升，升起
环境话题
中文：
这几十年见证了空气质量的恶化，同时也见证了很多政府官员对保护环境的漠视，这导致一个令人忧虑的现象：很多市民正在受到呼吸系统疾病的侵害。
参考译文：
The past few decades have witnessed the deterioration of air quality, as well as the indifference of many government officals towards environmental protection, leading to a worrying phenomenon that a large number of citizens are suffering from respiratory disease.
我的回答：
This decade has witnessed the deterioration of air quality, as well as the government officials’ indifference of environment protection, which leads to a worrisome phenomenon that many citezens are suffer from respiratory diseases.
评价：
- are suffer -> are suffering
- indifference to/towards; 注意介词
文化传统话题
中文：
这十年见证了中国传统服饰的兴盛，同时也见证了外国人对中国传统文化的热情，这种热情被体现在很多好莱坞电影里。
参考译文：
This decade has witnessed the revival of traditional Chinese costumes, as well as the enthusiasm of foreigners for traditional Chinese culture, reflected in many Hollywood movies.
我的回答：
This decade has witnessed the prosperity of traditonal Chinese clothes, as well as the enthusiasm which have been displayed in many Hollywood movies of foreigners to it.
评价：
to it. -> for traditional Chinese culture
个人品质话题
中文：
这十年见证了一个令人担忧的趋势：越来越多的父母溺爱孩子，同时也见证了这些孩子的自私和软弱，这会阻碍他们在生活和工作中承担自己的责任。
参考译文：
This decade has witnessed a worrying trend that more and more parents are spoiling their children, as well as the selfishness and weakness of the nextgeneration, which prevents them from shouldering their responsiblity in life and work.
我的回答：
This decade has witnessed a worrisome trend that more and more parents spoil their children, as well as their selfish and softness, which will block them from taking their own responsibilities in work and life.
评价：
自私和软弱: selfishness and weakness