30 Days of Sentence Writing - Day 22

Most theories of juvenile delinquency have focused on children from disadvantaged families, ignoring the fact that children from wealthy homes also commit crimes.

The findings of a research institution have consistently shown that workers in all countries can be trained on the job to achieve radically higher productivity and, as a result, radically higher standards of living.

[分数] [4/5]

S01

分析

Most theories of juvenile delinquency have focused on children from disadvantaged families, ignoring the fact that children from wealthy homes also commit crimes.

大多数有关青少年犯罪的理论都把注意力集中在贫困家庭的儿童上，而忽略了出身富裕的孩子也会犯罪的这一事实。

【结构】A focused on B from C, ignoring the fact that …

【解析】

[主干]

Most theories of juvenile delinquency have focused on children

[修饰主干的部分]

后置定语：from disadvantaged families 是介宾结构做后置定语。

伴随状语：ignoring the fact that children from wealthy homes also commit crimes 是分词结构做伴随状语，其中that children from wealthy homes also commit crimes 是一个同位语从句，做 fact 的同位语，对其解释说明。

仿写

科技话题

• 中文：

  很多年轻人把注意力集中在来自智能手机的最新资讯，而忽略了发生在身边的事也很值得关注这一事实。

• 参考译文：

  Many young people focus on the latest news on social media, ignoring the fact that things happening around them are also worthy of attention.

• 我的回答：

  Most young people focused on latest informations from smartphones, ignoring the fact that things happend around us are also of concern.

• 评价：

  • happend -> happening; 现在分词作后置定语
  • latest informations -> - the latest information; Information does not have a plural form and cannot be used with a or an.
  • focused -> focus; 现在时态即可

环境话题

• 中文：

  政府正把注意力集中在来自工厂的非法排放上，而忽略了汽车尾气的排放也是一大污染源这一事实。

• 参考译文：

  The government is focusing its attention on the illegal discharge of industrial wast by factories, ignoring the fact that car exhaust emissions are also a major source of pollution.

• 我的回答：

  The government focused on illegal dischargements from factories, ignoring the fact that automobile exhaust is also a big pollution source.

• 评价：

  focused -> focuses;

文化传统话题

• 中文：

  很多年轻人把注意力集中在来自西方的新奇文化元素，而忽略了本国传统文化也很精彩这一事实。

• 参考译文：

  Many young people focus on the interesting cultural elements from western countries, ignoring the fact that their own traditional culture is also appealing.

• 我的回答：

  Many young people focused on novel cultural elements from westren countries, ignoring the fact that their own national culture is wonderful.

• 评价：

  focused -> focuses;

个人品质话题

• 中文：

  很多父母把注意力集中在帮助孩子在考试中取得高分，而忽略了下一代的身体和心理健康才更加重要这一事实。

• 参考译文：

  Many parents focus on helping their children get high scores in the exam, ignoring the fact that the physical and mental wellbeing of the next generation is more important.

• 我的回答：

  Many parents focused on helping children get high scores in exams, ignoring the fact that mental and physical health for next generations are more important.

• 评价：

  • are more important. -> is more important. 注意主谓一致问题
  • focused -> focus;

S02

分析

The findings of a research institution have consistently shown that workers in all countries can be trained on the job to achieve radically higher productivity and, as a result, radically higher standards of living.

一个研究机构的发现一再显示，所有国家的工人都可以通过在职培训来大幅度提高生产率，进而使他们的生活水平得到显著提高。

【结构】he findings of a research institution have consistently shown that … , and, as a result, …

【解析】

[主干]

The findings of a research institution have consistently shown sth.

[修饰主干的部分]

宾语从句：that workers in all countries can be trained on the job to achieve radically higher productivity and, as a result, radically higher standards of living 这整部分都是 that 引导的宾语从句，做 show 的宾语。该宾语从句中，主语是 workers in all countries，介词短语 in all countries 作 workers 的后置定语，谓语是 can be trained（包含被动结构），介词短语 on the job 作状语；不定式结构 to achieve … standards of living 作目的状语，其中 and 连接两个并列项，短语 as a result 作插入语，表示结果。

仿写

科技话题

• 中文：

  一个研究机构的发现一再显示，老年人可以通过来自子女的帮助学会网购，进而他们能够享受到现代科技的好处。

• 参考译文：

  The findings of a research institution have consistently shown that elderly people can learn to shop online through the help of their children, and, as a result, they can enjoy the benefits of modern technology.

• 我的回答：

  The findings of a research institution have consistently shown that the elderly people can learn how to shopping online, and, as a result, they can enjoy the benifits from modern technologies.

• 评价：

  通过来自子女的帮助：through the help of their children

环境话题

• 中文：

  一个研究机构的发现一再显示，野生动物可以通过有效实施环境法律得到很好的保护，进而这些动物的数量在野外能够增长。

• 参考译文：

  The findings of a research institution have consistently shown that wild animals can be well protected through the effective implementation of environmental laws, and, as a result, their number can increase in the wild.

• 我的回答：

  The findings of a research institution have consistently shown that wild animals can be well protected from comprehensive implemention of legislation, and, as a result, these animal populations can increase in wild world.

• 评价：

  • in wild world. -> in the wild world.
  • implemention -> implenmentation; 注意单词的拼写

文化传统话题

• 中文：

  一个研究机构的发现一再显示，我们可以通过吸收外来文化中的优秀部分来丰富自己本民族的文化，进而这个民族更具有创造力。

• 参考译文：

  The findings of a research institution have consistently shown that we can enrich our own culture by absorbing the outstanding parts of foreign cultures, and, as a result, our culture is more likely to flourish.

• 我的回答：

  The findings of a research institution have consistently shown that people can enrich their own culture by absorbing superb parts from foreign cultures, and, as a result, this nation could be more creative.

• 评价：

  superb parts -> the superb parts

个人品质话题

• 中文：

  一个研究机构的发现一再显示，孩子可以通过战胜困难来获得满足感，进而他们对世界的认识也更加全面。

• 参考译文：

  The findings of research institution have consistently shown that children can acquire satisfaction by overcoming difficulties, and, as a result, their perserverance will grow, which is good for their future development.

• 我的回答：

  The findings of a research institution have consistently shown that children can get fulfillment from come across difficuties, and, as a result, they can know the world more comprehensive.

• 评价：

  • more comprehensive. -> more comprehensively;
  • come across 建议换成 overcoming