30 Days of Sentence Writing - Day 21
The more foreign capital you have helping you build your infrastructure, which today is an electronic infrastructure, the better off you’re going to be.
Just as on smoking, voices now come from many quarters insisting that the science about global warming is incomplete and that it’s OK to keep pouring fumes into the air until we know for sure.
[分数] [3/5]
S01
分析
The more foreign capital you have helping you build your infrastructure, which today is an electronic infrastructure, the better off you’re going to be.
你吸收越多外资来帮助你建设基础设施，现如今指的就是电子基础设施，你就会变得越富裕。
【结构】the more … + 现在分词后置定语 + 非限制性定语从句 + the more …
【解析】
[主干]
The more foreign capital you have, the better off you're going to be.
[修饰主干的部分]
后置定语：helping you build your infrastructure, which today is an electronic infrastructure 这整一部分是现在分词做后置定语，修饰 foreign capital，其中 which today is an electronic infrastructure 是非限制性定语从句，修饰 infrastructure。
重点词汇：be better off 比较富裕，经济情况宽裕一些。be better off (doing sth)（在某情况下）更幸福，更满意，例：The weather was so bad we'd have been better off staying at home. 天气非常恶劣,我们还不如呆在家里舒服。be worse off 即更糟糕。
仿写
科技话题
中文：
我们使用越多数码产品改善我们的生活，我们会更加依赖它们，这些数码产品是几十年前人们无法想像的。
参考译文：
The more digital products we use to improve our lives, which were uniaginable a few decades ago, the more we will become reliant on them.
我的回答：
The more improvement of our living with electronic devices which people lived in dozens of years ago cannot image, the more reliance of them we’ll get.
评价：
- 原意“我们使用越多数码产品改善我们的生活”，而非越多的改善，这里写为 The more digital products we use to improve our lives 更为准确
- image(n.形象; 印象) -> - imagine(v.想象)
- people lived in dozens of years ago 写为 people living in dozens of years ago, people 与 live 是主动关系，采用现在分词
环境话题
中文：
政府制定越多有效的法规来惩罚破坏环境的人，我们就会变得更幸福。这些人以牺牲环境的代价来牟取利益。
参考译文：
The more effective regulations the government introduces to punish those who damage the environment for profit, the better off we are going to be.
我的回答：
The more valid legislations to punish people who sacrifice environment for profits, the happier we’re going to be.
评价：
the environment, 补充冠词 the
文化传统话题
中文：
媒体平台宣传越多中国的传统文化，我们就越能齐心协力创造美好的未来，这些传统文化使我们文化遗产的一部分。
参考译文：
The more Chinese traditional culture is promoted on media platforms, which is part of our national heritage, the more we can work together to create a better future.
我的回答：
The more publication of traditional Chinese culture on media platform, which culture is a part of our cultural heritage.
评价：
- “我们就越能齐心协力创造美好的未来”没有译出，可以加上 the more we can work together to create a better future
- which 指代前面地 culture, 在从句作注意，因此这里可写为 which is a part of our cultural heritage
- 原意“媒体平台宣传越多的中国传统文化”，而非越多的宣传，这里写为 The more Chinese traditional culture is promoted on media platforms 更为准确
个人品质话题
中文：
我们收集越多信息来做重要的选择，我们就越能收获幸福，这些选择决定我们未来的人生轨迹。
参考译文：
The more information we collect to make important decisions, which determine our future life trajectory, the better off we are going to be.
我的回答：
The more information we gathered to make important decisions which will determine our future life trajectories, the more happiness we’ll get.
评价：
gathered 写为 gather，采用现在时态更为准确
S02
分析
Just as on smoking, voices now come from many quarters insisting that the science about global warming is incomplete and that it’s OK to keep pouring fumes into the air until we know for sure.
就像对于吸烟问题一样，现在来自四面八方的声音坚持认为，有关全球气候变暖的科学还不完善，因此在我们确定之前，仍然可以向大气继续排放废气。
【结构】voices now come from many quarters insisting that … , and that … until …
【解析】
[主干]
voices now come from many quarters
[修饰主干的部分]
状语：Just as on smoking 做主句的状语后置定语：insisting that the science about global warming is incomplete and that it's OK to keep pouring fumes into the air 是现在分词做后置定语，后面跟了两个并列的宾语从句，做 insisting 的宾语，until we know for sure 是第二个宾语从句主干的时间状语从句。
重点词汇：quarter 这里作可数名词表示没有指明的群体或个人，侧重于是提供帮助、讯息作出反应的个人或群体。通常与 in/from … 连用，来自于某群体（个人）或在某群体（个人）中。例：There is a feeling in certain/some quarters (= Some people consider) that a change is needed. 有些人认为有需要进行一次变革。
仿写
科技话题
中文：
现在来自四面八方的声音坚持认为青少年过度使用智能手机的现象值得警惕，并且孩子们使用智能手机的时间要被严格限制直到他们有足够强大的自制力。
参考译文：
Voices now come from many quarters insisting that the excessive use of smartphones by children should raise concerns, and that the time children spent on them should be strictly limited until they are old enough to have self-control.
我的回答：
Voices now come from many quaters insisting that the phenomenon which teenagers over-using smartphones is alarming, and that the using time of smartphones of children should be stricted restrained until they have powerful self-control.
评价：
- be stricted restrained 写为 be strictly restrained
- the phenomenon which teenagers over-using smartphones 写为 the phenomenon of teenagers over-using smartphones 或者写为 the phenomenon that [teenagers over-use smartphones 同位语从句]
环境话题
中文：
现在来自四面八方的声音坚持认为北京的恶劣空气是由排放标准不达标的化工厂导致的，并且这些工厂应该停止生产直到一切指标都合格。
参考译文：
Voices now come from many quarters insisting that the poor air quality in this city is caused by chemical plants that do not meet emission standards, and that theses plants should stop production until they fulfill their environmental duties.
我的回答：
Voices now come from many quaters insisting that the poor air in Beijing is caused by chemical factories has unqualified pollution criteria, and that factories should suspened their production until fit all criterias.
评价：
- that 后常跟名词单数，这里 factories 复数，采用 those factories
- is, has 动词重复，这里可写为 the poor air in Beijing is caused by chemical factories that habe unqualified pollution criteria, 写为定语从句，还要注意主谓一致
文化传统话题
中文：
现在来自四面八方的声音坚持认为不赡养年迈的父母的年轻人应该被批评，并且他们不能享受到一些公共服务，直到他们履行应尽的赡养义务为之。
参考译文：
Voices now come from many quarters insisting that young people who do not support their elderly parents should be criticized, and taht they should be denied access to some public services until they fulfill their filial duty.
我的回答：
Voices now come from many quaters insisting that the young don’t support their elderly parents should be criticised, and that they cannot have access to some public services until they do their obligations.
评价：
don’t, should 动词重复，因此写为 the young who don’t support their elderly parents should be criticised
个人品质话题
中文：
现在来自四面八方的声音坚持认为父母要给孩子树立良好的榜样，并且父母要停止对孩子提出过多要求直到他们自己也愿意努力工作。
参考译文：
Voices come from many quarters insisting that parents should set a good example for their children, and that they should stop demanding too much of their children until they themselves are willing to work hard.
我的回答：
Voices now come from many quaters insisting that parents should set good examples for children and that they should stop asking too much requirements to children until they have willingness to work hard by themselves.
评价：
处理得当