30 Days of Sentence Writing - Day 15
Just at the time when it became obvious that health-care resources could not possibly meet the demands being made upon them, people were demanding that their fundamental right to health-care be satisfied by the state.
The majority of people who use networked computers to upload are not even aware of the significance of what they are doing.
[分数] [4/5]
S01
分析
Just at the time when it became obvious that health-care resources could not possibly meet the demands being made upon them, people were demanding that their fundamental right to health-care be satisfied by the state.
正当医疗资源供不应求的情况变得显而易见时，人们要求国家满足他们的基本医疗权。
【结构】Just at the time when … , sb. are demanding that …
【解析】
[主干]
people were demanding sth.
[修饰主干的部分]
时间状语：Just at the time when it became obvious that health-care resources could not possibly meet the demands being made upon them 这整个部分是介宾结构 at the time 做时间状语，特殊点在于，time 后面跟了一个 when 引导的定语从句，这个定语从句中，it 是形式主语，后面 that 引导的名词性从句才是真正的主语。最后，being made upon them 是现在分词做后置定语，修饰 demands.
宾语从句：that their fundamental right to health-care be satisfied by the state 这是 that 引导的宾语从句，当前面是 demand 时，从句用虚拟语气，be satisfied by the state 前面省略了一个 should.
仿写
科技话题
中文：
正当教育科技蓬勃发展的时候，很多人提出偏远地区应当和城市里的同龄人一样，享受教育科技的进步。
参考译文：
Just at the time when education technology is debeloping at breakneck pace, many people argue that children in remote areas should enjoy technological advances in education as their peers do in cities.
我的回答：
Just at the time when educational technologies should be booming, someone are demanding that people lived in remote area should have chances to enjoy developments of educational technologies as their counterparts.
评价：
- 表“蓬勃，快速(发展)”时，也可积累 develop at breakneck pace
- someone 常指“某人”，谓语动词常用单数形式，这里“很多人”采用 many people 更为准确
环境话题
中文：
正当我们的环境被严重污染的时候，住在城市里的人们要求，政府应该确保他们的健康不应该被损害。
参考译文：
Just at the time when our environment is seriously damaged, urban residents are demanding that the government introduce stringent environmental laws and ensure that their health should not be harmed.
我的回答：
Just at the time when our environment is being polluted, people live in city are demanding that the government should ensure their health not being damaged.
评价：
live, are 动词重复，这里可写为 people [living in cities 作后置定语] are demanding 或者写为 people [who live in cities 定语从句] are demanding …
文化传统话题
中文：
正当外国电影和音乐在这个国家越来越流行的时候，很多人认为政府应该多采取行动去促进文化和创意产业的发展。
参考译文：
Just at the time when foreign movies and music are gaining popularity in this country, some people argue that the government should do more to boost the development of the cultural and creative industries.
我的回答：
Just at the time when foriegn films and musics are becoming more popular in this country, many people are demanding that the government should take more actions to boost developments of culture and creativity industries.
评价：
- boost 用的不错，点赞
- 表“越来越流行”也可积累表达 gain popularity, 供替换使用
- music 不可数名词，删去 s
个人品质话题
中文：
正当父母为孩子的高分感到骄傲的时候，孩子们要求，它们应该有更多的时间发展自己的兴趣爱好。
参考译文：
Just at the time when parents take pride in their children’s high scores, the children are demanding that they should have more time to develop their hobbies.
我的回答：
Just at the time that parents should be pround for their children’s high scores, children are demanding that they should have more time to develop their hobbies.
评价：
注意 pround 拼写
S02
分析
The majority of people who use networked computers to upload are not even aware of the significance of what they are doing.
大部分使用联网计算机上传资料的人甚至意识不到他们做的这件事的重要性。
【结构】The majority of people who … are not even aware of the significance / damage … of what they are doing
【解析】
[主干]
The majority of people are not aware of the significance
[修饰主干的部分]
定语从句：who use networked computers to upload是who引导的定语从句，修饰people。
后置定语：of what they are doing，是介宾结构做后置定语，这里的宾语又比较特殊，是what引导的名词性从句做of的宾语，所以这里又是一个宾语从句。
仿写
科技话题
中文：
大部分在会谈中盯着自己手机的人甚至意识不到他们的行为对其他人有多么不尊敬。
参考译文：
The majority of people who stare at their phones during the meeting are not even aware of how disrespectful their behavior is.
我的回答：
The majority of people who staring at their phones in the meeting are now even aware the impoliteness of their behaviour to other people.
评价：
- be (not) aware of … 这里写为 are not even aware of the impolitness
- people who staring at their phones 写为 people [who stare at their phones 定语从句] 或者写为 people [staring at their phones 后置定语], 注意区分
环境话题
中文：
大部分随手乱扔垃圾的人甚至意识不到他们做这件事对环境的破坏性。
参考译文：
The majority of people who litter are not even aware of the harm they are causing to the environment.
我的回答：
The majority of people who littering are not aware the damage to environment of what they are doing.
评价：
the environment, 补充冠词 the
文化传统话题
中文：
大部分为了经济利益而下令拆除古代建筑的政府关于甚至意识不到他们做这件事对我们文化的毁灭性影响。
参考译文：
The majority of government officials who order the demolition of ancient buildings to give way to economic development are not even aware of the destructive effects of what they are doing on our culture.
我的回答：
The majority of people who make decision that to demolish ancient architectures for economy profits are not even aware the damage to our culture of what they are doing.
评价：
- are not even aware the damage 写为 are not even aware of the damage
- economy(n.) -> economic(adj.), 形容词修饰名词
- make decision to do sth., 这里写为 make decision to demolish 即可
个人品质话题
中文：
大部分逼孩子做他们自己不喜欢的事情的家长甚至意识不到他们做这件事对孩子的伤害性。
参考译文：
The majority of parents who force their children to do things they do not enjoy are not even aware of the harm of what they are doing to their children.
我的回答：
The majority of parents who push their kids to do what they don’t want to are not even aware the damage to children of what they are doing.
评价：
are not even aware the damage 写为 are not even aware of the damage