30 Days of Sentence Writing - Day 09

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83% of young Africans said that more should be done to protect the rights of ethnic minorities, while 64% agreed that “sexual harassment is a problem in my country”.

Studies suggest [that religion (in Africa) exerts more sway over (how people view same-sex relationships) than their level of education, (whether they live in cities or the countryside, or whether they are on the internet).]

[分数] [4/5]

S01

分析

83% of young Africans said that more should be done to protect the rights of ethnic minorities, while 64% agreed that “sexual harassment is a problem in my country”.

83% 的非洲年轻人认为应该采取更多措施来保护少数民族的权利，而 64% 的人认为“性骚扰在我的国家是一个问题。”

【结构】A say that …, while B agree that …

【解析】

这里学习一下「有多少人认为……怎么样，又有多少人认为……」, 这里 said that 与 agreed 表达的其实是同一个意思，这里是为了避免重复;

两个句子之间可以用 while 来承上启下，while 在这里是连词，引导比较状语从句。我们在议论文中也可以套用这样的写法。

仿写

科技话题

  • 中文：

    如今，很多年轻人倾向于使用电子书，觉得电子书便宜、方便携带，但还有一部分人觉得纸质书更好，阅读体验更佳。

  • 参考译文：

    Now many young people preferring e-books say that they are not expensive and easy to carry, while some agree that traditional books are good for our eyes and the reading experience is better.

  • 我的回答：

    Many young people tend to use E-Books, and say that E-books is not expensive and easy to carry, while others agreen that paper-based books have better reading experience.

  • 评价：

    • 注意 agree 拼写
    • E-books is 写为 E-books are，注意主谓一致

环境话题

  • 中文：

    很多人认为为了更高效的利用自然资源，环境保护可以放在次要位置；但另一些人觉得人类不能以牺牲环境为代价来发展经济。

  • 参考译文：

    Many people say that in order to use natural resources more efficiently, the environment can be put in a secondary place, while others agree that human beings cannot pursue enconomic development at the cost of the environment.

  • 我的回答：

    Many people say that environmental protection can be put in secondary, while others think human cannot sacrifice environment to develop economy.

  • 评价：

    • the environment, 补充冠词 the
    • human 可数，采用复数形式更为准确
    • 表“把…放在次要位置”的准确表达为 put … in a secondary place

文化传统话题

  • 中文：

    有些人认为外来文化比本民族的文化更有意思；但有更多人认为，将传统文化与优秀的外来文化元素进行融合才是更有利的。

  • 参考译文：

    Some people say that foreign cultures are more interesting that our own, while more people agree that it is more beneficial to intergrate excellent foreign cultural elements with traditional one.

  • 我的回答：

    Some people say that foreign cultures are better than native cultures, while more think that merging native and foreign cultural elements is more benificial.

  • 评价：

    表“融合”也可积累 integrate n. with n.

个人品质话题

  • 中文：

    很多父母认为要保护孩子免遭受痛苦和压力，但另一些人认为，经历一些挫折是必要的，它们能够帮助孩子健康成长。

  • 参考译文：

    Many parents say that children should be shielded from pain and pressure, while others agree that some setbacks are necessay, and that they can help children grow into healthier adults.

  • 我的回答：

    Some parents say that they should keep children from pain and pressure, while others agree that some setbacks is necessary, and can help children to grow up healthy.

  • 评价：

    • healthy(adj.) -> healthily(adv.) 副词修饰形容词
    • some setbacks is 写为 some setbacks are，注意主谓一致

S02

分析

Studies suggest [that religion (in Africa) exerts more sway over (how people view same-sex relationships) than their level of education, (whether they live in cities or the countryside, or whether they are on the internet).]

研究表明，在非洲，宗教对人们如何看待同性关系的影响比他们的教育水平更大，无论他们是生活在城市还是农村，无论他们是否上网。

【结构】A exerts more sway over 宾语从句 … than B, whether …

【解析】

[主干]

Studies suggest sth.

[修饰主干的部分]

宾语从句:that 引导宾语从句，该从句主干是:religion exerts more sway over sth than their level of education. over 后面跟了一个 how 引导的宾语从句。

最后部分是两个 whether 引导的让步状语从句。

仿写

科技话题

  • 中文：

    现在，智能手机对孩子如何看待这个世界的影响比它们老师和父母还要大，无论这些孩子是来自城市还是农村地区。

  • 参考译文：

    Nowadays, smartphones exert more sway over how children see the world than their teachers and parents, whether they come from urban or rural areas.

  • 我的回答：

    Nowadays, smartphones exerts more sway over how children see the world than their teachers and parents, whether they come from cities or rural areas.

  • 评价：

    smartphones exerts 写为 smartphones exert，注意主谓一致

环境话题

  • 中文：

    有些时候，空气质量对市民如何评价自己的生活水准的影响比金钱还要大，无论他们是工人、农民还是企业家。

  • 参考译文：

    Sometimes, air quality exerts more sway over how citizens evaluate their living standards than money, whether they are workers, farmers or entrepreneurs.

  • 我的回答：

    Sometimes, air quality exerts more sway over how citizens evaluate their living standard than money, whether they are workers, farmers or entrepreneurs.

  • 评价：

    结构清楚表达顺畅

文化传统话题

  • 中文：

    传统文化对人们如何处理人际关系的影响比政府的宣传部门还要大，无论他们是生活在农村还是城市。

  • 参考译文：

    Traditional culture exerts more sway over how people handle interpersonal relationships than government policies, whether they live in big cities or small areas.

  • 我的回答：

    Traditional cultures exert more sway over how people hadle interpersonal relationships than government’s publicity department, whether they live in rural area or city.

  • 评价：

    注意 handle 拼写

个人品质话题

  • 中文：

    与他人合作的能力对年轻人如何与他人相处的影响比考试分数还要大，无论这些人未来是否从事办公室工作。

  • 参考译文：

    The ability to cooperate with others exerts more sway over how young people get along with other people than their test scores, whether they will become future office workers or not.

  • 我的回答：

    Abilities of cooperating with other people exert more sway over how to get along others than exam scores, whether they will do office work in the future.

  • 评价：

    常用搭配 ability to do sth., 因此写为 the ability to cooperate with others