30 Days of Sentence Writing - Day 06
[To see how consumers have turned the shopping experience on its head,] look not to humans but to pets, [who hold the world to the highest standards of customer care.]
[If drug development is more targeted on instructing cells what to do, rather than finding novel molecules against specific proteins,] some of the know-how [on which old-style pharma is based] will be less relevant.
[分数] [4/5]
S01
分析
[To see how consumers have turned the shopping experience on its head,] look not to humans but to pets, [who hold the world to the highest standards of customer care.]
要了解消费者是如何颠覆购物体验的，不要看人，看宠物。因为正是它们将全世界的客户服务推向了最高标准。
【结构】To see how …, look not to A but to B, who/which
【解析】
不定式做目的状语: To see ... 是动词不定式作目的状语。后面的 how 引导一个宾语从句，做 see 的宾语。这个宾语从句中，turn sth. on its head 字面意思是“把 ...... 放到头顶”，“即颠覆 ......”。
定语从句:who 引导非限制性定语从句，用于修饰 pets。意思是“宠物在互联网上的消费水平，保持了世界上最高的标准，任何其他其他消费者都无法望其项背”。
仿写
科技话题
中文：
要了解网购对我们日常生活的影响，不要看我们花费了多少，而是要看我们买的东西，这些东西让我们的生活更加舒服。
参考译文：
To see how online shopping affects our daily file, look not to how much we spend but to what we buy, which makes our life more comfortable.
我的回答：
To see how the online shopping affects our daily life, look not to cost but to things we bought, which makes our life more comfortable.
评价：
句子结构处理得当
环境话题
中文：
要了解人类活动如何破坏地球生态，不要看专家言论，看空气质量，它对我们的日常生活有直接影响。
参考译文：
To see how human activities destroy the earth’s ecology, look not to the opinions of experts, but to air quality, which has a direct impact on our everyday life.
我的回答：
To see how human activities damage earth ecology, look not to experts’ opinion but to air quality, which has direct affect to our daily life.
评价：
has direct affect -> has directly affected; affect 动词
文化传统话题
中文：
要了解一个人如何处理人际关系，不要看他的言语，看他对父母的态度，它反映出这个人很多潜在的特点。
参考译文：
To see how people handle interpersonal relationships, look not to their words but to their attitude towards their parents, which reflects many potential characteristics of them.
我的回答：
To see how a man deal with interpersonal relationship, look not to his words but to his attitude to his parent, which reveals lots of potential attributem of him.
评价：
- attributem -> attributes;
- interpersonal relationship -> interpersonal relationships
- a man deal -> a man deals; 注意主谓一致问题
个人品质话题
中文：
要了解一个人能否实现他的人生价值，不要看他的学历，看他的性格特点，比如自信和坚毅，他们是取得人生成就的基础。
参考译文：
To see whether a person can realize his life value, look not to his academic qualifications but to his personality traits, such as perseverance and confidence, which are the basis for life achievements.
我的回答：
To see how a man is available for achieving his life value, look not to his degree but to his personality traits such as confidence and perseverance, which are the basis of life achievements.
评价：
句子结构处理得当
学习：
学历：academic qualification
S02
分析
[If drug development is more targeted on instructing cells what to do, rather than finding novel molecules against specific proteins,] some of the know-how [on which old-style pharma is based] will be less relevant.
如果药物的开发更侧重于指导细胞该做什么，而不是寻找针对特定蛋白质的新分子，那么老派制药公司所依赖的技术秘密将不再那么重要。
【结构】if A is more …, rather than B, 主干 + 定语从句。
【解析】
[主干]
Some of the know-how will be less relevant.
有些“黑科技”将不再重要。konw-how是不可数名词， 意思是“(尤指专业或实用的)技巧，技能”。
[修饰主干的部分]
条件状语:If drug development is more targeted on instructing cells what to do, rather than finding novel molecules against specific proteins 这整个部分都是 if 引导的条件状语从句，其中 what to do 做 instructing 的宾语补足语。这里疑问词+to do 做宾语补足语的用法可以注意一下。然后 rather than 这个介词短语，搭配动名词 finding 做状语。
定语从句:the know-how on which old-style pharma is based 这里是 which 引导的定语从句，修饰 the know-how，其原本的顺序是 the know-how which old-style pharma is based on，为了使 which (在从句中做宾语)与从句更紧凑，英文中往往把介词放到关系代词的前面。这个习惯汉语中没有，容易显得变扭，同学们要慢慢习惯。
仿写
科技话题
中文：
如果科技成果能被偏远地区的孩子更好地享受到，而不是只让大城市里的孩子受益，我们这个有几千年文明的国家将更加强大。
参考译文：
If technological developments can be better enjoyed by children in remote areas, rather than only benefiting their counterparts in big cities, our country that has thousands of years of civilization will be stronger.
我的回答：
If the technological achievements can be enjoyed for children in remote area, rather than benefiting only those in cities, our country with thousands of years of civilization would be stronger.
评价：
area -> areas;
学习：
可以使用 counterparts 代替复杂的名词
环境话题
中文：
如果人类更加注重保护生态平衡，而不是掠夺资源，我们赖以生存的地球将更加绿色，更加适合人类生活。
参考译文：
If human beings pay more attention to ecological balance, rather than pludering resources, the planet on which we live will be a greener and more livable place.
我的回答：
If human care more about biological balance, rather than plunder resources, our planet lived on will be greener, more suitable for human living.
评价：
- our planet lived on -> the planet on which we live; 后者表达更符合表达习惯;
- human -> humans;
文化传统话题
中文：
如果我们更加关注年迈的父母的精神满足，而不是单纯地提供物质满足，我们的父母将在他们晚年生活地更加幸福。
参考译文：
If we pay more attention to the spiritual satisfaction of our elderly parents, rather than simply providing material comfort to them, our parents will live a happier life in their old age.
我的回答：
If we care more about the mental fulfillment of parents, rather than providing material fulfillment, our parent will have a happier later life.
评价：
our parent -> our parents;
个人品质话题
中文：
如果父母对孩子的心理健康更加关心，而不是只关注他们的学业表现，代表社会的未来的孩子们将成长为更优秀的成年人。
参考译文：
If parents are more concerned about their children’s mental well-being, rather than just focusing on their academic performance, children who are the future of our society will grow into better adults.
我的回答：
If parents care more about mental health of children, rather than their courses’ performance, these children who represent the future of society will grow up to a better adult.
评价：
句子结构把握得很好