30 Days of Sentence Writing - Day 04

(Whereas some bosses have embraced more flexible working arrangements,) others still want employees to be back at their desks, [fearing (that the productivity improvements of remote work are uncertain at best)].

the first virus (to have its genome read) was an obscure little creature (called ms2); the 3,569 rna letters (it contained) were published in 1976, (the hard-won product of some ten years’ work in a well-staffed Belgian laboratory).

[分数] [4/5]

S01

分析

(Whereas some bosses have embraced more flexible working arrangements,) others still want employees to be back at their desks, [fearing (that the productivity improvements of remote work are uncertain at best)].

尽管一些老板已经接受了更灵活的工作安排，但仍然有人希望员工回到自己的办公桌前，(他们)担心即使 在最好的情况下，远程工作带来的生产力提升仍不确定。

【结构】Whereas some embrace … + 主句 … + doing …

【解析】

[主干]

others still want employees to be back at their desks,

但仍然有人希望员工回到自己的办公桌前， 其中 to be back at their desks 为不定式做 want 的宾语补足语。

[修饰主干的部分]

让步状语从句:Whereas 为连词，意思是“尽管”，引导让步状语从句

原因状语:fearing that the productivity improvements of remote work are uncertain at best.为现在分词短语 引导原因状语

that 后接的是 fear 宾语，所以 the productivity improvements of remote work are uncertain at best 是 fear 的宾语从句。

仿写

科技话题

• 中文：

  尽管现在很多人都接受手机带来的便利性，但家长和老师们要求学生不能带手机进入教室，担心过多使用手机会分散学生的注意力。

• 参考译文：

  Whereas many people now embrace the convenience brought by mobile phones, parents and teachers ask students not to bring them into the classroom, worrying that excessive phone use will distract students.

• 我的回答：

  Whereas many people have accepted the convience of mobile phones, parents and teachers still ask students not to bring mobile phones into the classroom, worrying the excessive use of it may distract students’ attention.

• 评价：

  结构把握不错

• 学习：

  use of … -> … use

环境话题

• 中文：

  尽管政府已经采取了一些措施来保护环境，但居民们还是希望关闭在自己家附近的工厂，担心工厂排放的污水和废弃会影响他们健康。

• 参考译文：

  Whereas the government has taken a number of measures to protect the environment, residents still hope to close the factories near their homes, fearing that the sewage and waste discharged from the factories will affect their health.

• 我的回答：

  Wheras some actions have been taken by government to protect environment, residents still want to close the factories near their house, worryingt the sewage and waste from factories may cause bad health effects.

• 评价：

  • 注意 worrying 拼写
  • the government, the environment, 补充冠词 the

文化传统话题

• 中文：

  尽管有些人已经感受到政府保护传统文化的决心，但其他人希望政府能进一步推广传统文化。他们担心这些塑造了我们民族认同感的文化被外国文化冲击，并遭到冷落。

• 参考译文：

  Whereas some people have felt the government’s determination to preserve traditional culture, others hope that it should do more to promote traditional culture, worrying that the culture that shapes our national identity will be impacted by foreign influences and be sidelined.

• 我的回答：

  Wheras some people have felt the determination of the government to protect traditional cultures, others still want the government to advance the promotion of traditional cultures, concerning the impaction of foreign culture to the traditional culture which formed our national sense of indentity.

• 评价：

  concern 意味 “使担心”，常用 sth. concern sb, 这里担心某事，采用 worry sth 更为准确。

个人品质话题

• 中文：

  虽然接受父母精心照料的孩子在短期内更健康，但专家不建议过度保护下一代，他们担心没有经历过挫折的孩子将无法承受成年后遇到的压力，而这些压力是不可避免的。

• 参考译文：

  Whereas children receiving their parents’ meticulous care are healthier in the short term experts do not recommend overprotectiong the next generation, worrying that children who have not experienced setbacks will not be able to withstand the pressure that they will inevitably face in adulthood.

• 我的回答：

  Wheras childrens be well-taken care of by parents may be more healty in short term, experts still not recommend excessive protections to the next generation, concerning the children may not deal with the pressure when they grow up, which is inevitable.

• 评价：

  • 注意 whereas, healthy 拼写
  • childrens be well-taken care of by parents 写为 children [well taken care of by parents 作后置定语]
  • children 是 child 的复数形式，不用再加 s 了

• 学习：

  • meticulous：very careful and with great attention to every detail.
  • 承受压力：withstand pressure

S02

分析

The first virus (to have its genome read) was an obscure little creature (called ms2); the 3,569 rna letters (it contained) were published in 1976, (the hard-won product of some ten years’ work in a well-staffed Belgian laboratory).

首个被读取基因信息的病毒是名为 MS2 的名不见经传的小生物;它所包含的 3569 个 RNA 序列信息发表于 1976 年，这是比利时的一个人员齐备的实验室耗时十年才获得的来之不易的成果。

【结构】n + be adj. + 分号 + 主干2 + 同位语

【解析】

[主干]

The first virus to have its genome read was an obscure little creature; the 3,569 rna letters were published in 1976.

首个病毒是名不见经传的小生物; 3,569 个 RNA 序列信息被发表于 1976 年。

[修饰主干的部分]

定语: to have its genome read 为不定式做定语，修饰 virus。这里主要学习 have sth. done 这个结构。have 与宾语+动词形式连用，表示谈论引 起某个行为或经历某件事，比如我们很熟悉的 have my hair cut，剪头发，这里 cut 也是过去分词形式。另外，这里的 done 也可以是动词的其他形式，根据其与宾语的逻辑关系来确定，比如，He soon had everybody laughing，他很快就把大家都逗乐了，这里 laugh 与 everybody 之间就是主动关系，所以用的动词的 ing 形式。

后置定语: called ms2 为过去分词做后置定语，修饰 creature。

分号: 这里的分号可以理解成一个连词，用于连接两句具有紧密关系的句子。

定语从句: it contained 为定语从句，因为关系代词 that 在从句中充当 contain 的宾语，故可省略。

同位语: the hard-won product of some ten years' work in a well-staffed Belgian laboratory 该部分为 the 3,569 rna letters 的同位语，起到解释说明的作用。

仿写

科技话题

• 中文：

  智能手机的便利性被广泛认可，它是如此名不见经传的小物件；它的屏幕的出现还只有二十年，是人类科技的典型代表。

• 参考译文：

  The smartphone, whose convenience has been widely recognized, is such an obscure thing; its screen has only been around for two decades, a typical representative of human technology.

• 我的回答：

  the smart phone which has wildly accepted convenience was such an obscure little gadget; The screen of it first appeared in twenty years ago, a representative of human technology.

• 评价：

  was such an obscure little gadget 写为 is such an obscure little gadget, 时态统一为现在时态更为准确

环境话题

• 中文：

  空气被严重污染的城市和乡村是我们赖以生存的家园；我们每个人在这里工作，学习和生活，这是我们和子孙后代们共同拥有的珍贵财产。

• 参考译文：

  The cities and villages whose air has been heavily polluted are our homes for survival; each of us works, studies and lives here, a precious property that we and future generations share.

• 我的回答：

  The city and rural area which has a severe air pollution is our home to live in; these are the places to work, to study and to live for us, a valuable property of us and our offsprings.

• 评价：

  同位语把握不错

文化传统话题

• 中文：

  风格被很多人喜爱的传统建筑是必须被保护的；它历经了上千年的演化，它是塑造我们民族身份的文化遗产。

• 参考译文：

  The traditional building whose style has been adored by many must be protected; it has undergone thousands of years of evolution, cultural heritage that shapes our national identity.

• 我的回答：

  The traditional buildings has a widely-loved style must be protected; They have a thousand year history of evolution, a cultural heritage created our national identity.

• 评价：

  • a cultural heritage created our national identity 写为 a cultural heritage creating our national identity, 主动关系，采用现在分词
  • has, must 动词重复，这里可写为 The traditional buildings [that have a widely-loved style 定语从句，还要注意主谓一致] must be protected

个人品质话题

• 中文：

  那些溺爱孩子的父母是不合格的；家庭教育要帮助孩子克服未来面对的困难，这是个值得每一个这样的父母反思的课题。

• 参考译文：

  Parents who have their children spoiled are unqualified; family education must help children overcome the difficulties they face in the future, a subject worthy of reflection by every such parent.

• 我的回答：

  The parents spoil their children is disqualified; Family education is aimed to help childrens overcoming future difficulties, a project needs every parent to think about.

• 评价：

  • a project needs every parent to think about 写为 a project that needs every parent to think about
  • children 是 child 的复数形式，不用再加 s 了
  • be aimed at doing sth. / aim to do sth., 这里可写为 is aimed at helping / aims to help…
  • spoil, is 动词重复，这里可写为 The parents [who spoil their children 定语从句] are disqualified, 注意主谓一致