30 Days of Sentence Writing - Day 03
(Given numbers such as these), talk of deindustrialisation in Africa is “silly”.
There are several paths [African countries can take in order both to create many more jobs and to become more productive (which would make their people richer). ]
[分数] [4/5]
S01
分析
(Given numbers such as these), talk of deindustrialisation in Africa is “silly”.
鉴于这些数字，讨论非洲的去工业化是“愚蠢的”。
【结构】given + n. + sth. is adj.
【解析】
[修饰主干的部分]
原因状语: Given 为介词，意为“鉴于，考虑到”
介词结构 given numbers (such as these)做主句的原因状语。
仿写
科技话题
中文：
鉴于年轻人无时无刻盯着手机这样的场景，科技的影响几乎都是正面的这样的言论是十分愚蠢的。
参考译文：
Given the phenomenon that young people are staring at their mobile phones all the time, the idea that the impact of technology is almost positive is silly.
我的回答：
Given the scene such as the youngs are playing their mobile phone all the time, talk of affects of technology are almost all positive is ubsurdly.
评价：
- ubsurdly -> absurd adj. 荒谬的；可笑的
- affects -> effects; 注意做好单词区分，前者常作动词，词性不合适
- mobile phone -> mobile phones;
- the youngs -> the young;
环境话题
中文：
鉴于越来越糟糕的空气质量，人们对环境保护态度冷漠是十分愚蠢的。
参考译文：
Given the deteriorating air quality, people’s indifference towards environmental protection is silly.
我的回答：
Given the situation such as deteriorating air quality, indifference of public in environment protection is very stupid.
评价：
- environment protection -> environmental protection
- public -> the public
学习：
对：toward
文化传统话题
中文：
鉴于越来越多古建筑被毁坏，保护这些建筑的法律法规是很有必要推出的。
参考译文：
Given the increasing number of historical buildings that have been destroyed, laws and regulations aimed at protecting these buildings are very necessary.
我的回答：
Given the situation such as ancient building damaging, legislation about protecting these building is necessary.
评价：
- Given the situation such as ancient building damaging -> Given the increasing number of ancient buildings damaged; 建筑物被破坏，动宾关系，使用过去分词
- building -> buildings;
个人品质话题
中文：
鉴于无数通过合作取得卓越成就的事例，与他人协作没有必要的言论是十分愚蠢的。
参考译文：
Given the countless examples of great achievements made by cooperation, the idea that it is not necessary to collaborate with others is silly.
我的回答：
Given countless precedents of cooperation makes superb achievements, talks of cooperating with other is unnecessary is stupid.
评价：
- talks -> talk
- makes -> make 注意主谓一致问题
- 因为前半部分同学是一个句子，建议：Given -> Given that;
S02
分析
There are several paths [African countries can take in order both to create many more jobs and to become more productive (which would make their people richer). ]
为了创造更多就业机会和提高生产力(这也能让人民更加富裕)，非洲国家还是有几条道路可走。
【结构】There are several paths + sb. can take + in order both to do sth. + 定语从句
【解析】
[主干]
there are several paths.
[修饰主干的部分]
定语从句: African countries can take in order both to create many more jobs and to become more productive (which would make their people richer)为修饰 paths 的定语从句(省略了 that)，从句中 both to...and to... 是动词不定式结构，表目的，意为“既为了......也为了......”。
which 引导定语，其先行词是 paths.
仿写
科技话题
中文：
为了让边远地区的孩子有机会享受到优质的教育资源（这也能让我们国家更加强大），政府还是有几条路可以走。
参考译文：
There are several paths the government can take in order to allow children in remote areas to enjoy a better education which will also make our country stronger.
我的回答：
There are several paths our government can take in order to create chances for children live in remote area accessing high-quality education resources, which would make our country stronger.
评价：
for children live in remote area accessing high-quality education resources -> for children living in remote areas to access high-quality education resources; 现在分词作后置定语
环境话题
中文：
为了提高空气质量（这也能让居民变得更加健康），政府还是有几条路可以走。
参考译文：
There are several paths the government can take in order to improve air quality which can also make citizens healthier.
我的回答：
There are several paths government can take in order to improve air quality which would make residences healthier.
评价：
- residences -> residents; n. 居民
- government -> governments/the government
文化传统话题
中文：
为了吸收其他文化中优秀的部分（这也能让我们的文化更加丰富多彩），我们还是有几条路可以走。
参考译文：
There are several paths we can take in order to absorb the good parts of other cultures which will also enrich ours.
我的回答：
There are several paths we can take to absorb good part of other culture, which would flourish our own culture.
评价：
- flourish verb. intransitive. to grow or develop successfully 茁壮成长;繁荣；蓬勃发展；不及物动词，建议换成 enrich;
- good part -> the good parts;
个人品质话题
中文：
为了培养遇到困难坚持不懈的品质（这也能帮助我们勇敢地面对挫折），我们还是有几条路可以走。
参考译文：
There are several paths we can take in order to cultivate the quality of perseverance in the face of difficulties, which can also help us become a better person.
我的回答：
There are several paths we could take in order to cultivate a persistent quality, which would help us face difficulty bravely.
评价：
difficulty -> difficulties;
学习：
面对：in the face of …