30 Days of Sentence Writing - Day 02

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(With more direct insights about customer demands,) there is less need to create excess-inventory buffers, (improving margins and reducing waste).

Some are attacked by strangers, but far more suffer at the fists of those (who are supposed to love them).

[分数] [4/5]

S01

分析

(With more direct insights about customer demands,) there is less need to create excess-inventory buffers, (improving margins and reducing waste).

通过更直接地了解客户需求，减少创建超额库存缓冲，从而提高利润、减少浪费。

【结构】with 介宾结构 + 主句 + -ing

【解析】

[主干]

there is less need to create excess-inventory buffers.

不再需要创建过多超额库存缓冲。

[修饰主干的部分]

方式状语: with介词复合结构，做方式状语。

结果状语: improving margins and reducing waste 为现在分词短语作结果状语。

仿写

科技话题

  • 中文：

    通过更直接地触达客户，网购省去中间环节，从而降低售价、提高商家利润。

  • 参考译文：

    With more direct contact with consumers, online shopping cuts out the middleman, reducing prices and increasing profits for sellers.

  • 我的回答：

    With more direct access to customers, the online-shopping cuts out middle, cutting prices and

  • 评价：

    • cutting prices and increasing profits for sellers 补充完整
    • access 用的不错，点赞
    • middle 常指“中间，中部”，这里“中间环节”些微 middleman（中间商）更为明前

  • 学习：

    中间环节：middle term, middleman.

环境话题

  • 中文：

    通过更严厉的惩罚，法律能够减少为了利益破坏环境的行为，从而维护生态多样性。

  • 参考译文：

    With stricter punishments, the law can curb practices that sacrifice the environment for profits, maintaining ecological diversity.

  • 我的回答：

    With more stringent punishment, Laws can reduce actions pursuit profit by damage environment, protecting the biodiversity.

  • 评价：

    actions pursuit(n.) profit by damage environment 写为 actions [pursuing profit by damaging environment 后置定语] / actions [that pursue profit by damaging environt 定语从句], 同时注意 by 介词，后跟 doing.

  • 学习：

    curb：[v.] to control or limit something that is not wanted; [n.] a limit on something that is not wanted.; [SYN] restrain, reduce, limit

文化传统话题

  • 中文：

    通过主动学习其他文化中的优秀部分，我们得以提高自己的文化敏感度，从而增加竞争力。

  • 参考译文：

    With the willingness to learn the good parts of other cultures, we can improve our cultural sensitivity, enhancing our competitiveness.

  • 我的回答：

    With learning essence of other culture actively, we can develop a cultural sensitivity, improving our competitiveness.

  • 评价：

    这里“主动”可以考虑采用结构 the willingness to do sth.

  • 学习：

    增加竞争力/提高竞争力：enhace competitiveness.

个人品质话题

  • 中文：

    通过与拥有不同优势的人合作，我们能够获得取长补短的机会，从而提升我们的技能。

  • 参考译文：

    With cooperation with people possessing different strong points, we can have the opportunity to learn from others, improving our skill set.

  • 我的回答：

    With more cooperation with people has different advantages, we can have chances to make up our shorts, developing techniques and skills.

  • 评价：

    with 后跟名词结构，这里要写为 With more cooperation with people [having different advantages 作后置定语修饰 people]

  • 学习：

    • 获得 机会(复数)
    • 提升技能：improving skill set

S02

分析

Some are attacked by strangers, but far more suffer at the fists of those (who are supposed to love them).

施暴者有时候是陌生人，然而更多的却是本应该疼爱她们的亲人对她们拳脚相向。

【结构】… + but far more + 定语从句

【解析】

[主干]

Some are attacked by strangers, but far more suffer at the fists of those，

but 为连词，起转折作用。

[修饰主干的部分]

far more：这里more本身是限定词，后面省略了前文提及的名词，相当于far more (people)，这里是some指代的“被施暴的人”，所以这个句式里，前后两个分句的主语务必是同一类。

定语:who are supposed to love them 在这里是限制性定语从句，用来修饰 those，be supposed to 意为“应该......”。

仿写

科技话题

  • 中文：

    有些人受到了科技的负面影响，但更多的人享受到它的积极作用，这些作用甚至改变了很多人的命运。

  • 参考译文：

    Some people have been negatively affected by technology, but far more enjoy its positive effects, which have even changed the life trajectory of many people.

  • 我的回答：

    Some are affected by technology, but far more enjoyed those which may even changed lives of many of them.

  • 评价：

    • 注意时态，前后统一为现在时态更为准确
    • affect 是个中性词，这里“负面影响”加上 adversely 更为准确

环境话题

  • 中文：

    有些动物被很好地保护起来，在动物园里，但更多的却是遭受来自人类活动的侵扰，这些侵扰让很多动物从地球上消失了。

  • 参考译文：

    Some animals are well protected in the zoo, but far more suffer from our intrusions which have caused many of them to disappear from the earth.

  • 我的回答：

    Some animals are protected from disturbance, but far more suffer of those which make many animals die out from Earth.

  • 评价：

    常用搭配 suffer from n.

  • 学习：

    • 侵扰：intrusion
    • 导致：cause

文化传统话题

  • 中文：

    有些传统我们应该抛弃，但更多的却值得保存，在考虑到我们的祖先曾经以此为生活准则。

  • 参考译文：

    Some traditions should be discarded, but far more are worth preserving given that our ancestors used them as the criterion of life.

  • 我的回答：

    Some tradition should be abandoned, but far more should be keep when considering they are the criteria of our ancestor.

  • 评价：

    • 表“考虑到…”可积累表达 given(that)…/considering…
    • should be keep 写为 should be kept, 注意被动语态 be done

  • 学习：

    difference between ‘discard’ and ‘abandon’：abandon 有抛弃本不应抛弃（的东西）的意思，discard 则不然

个人品质话题

  • 中文：

    有些人不必拥有这些品质也能成功，但更多的人却离不开这些品质，他们能够为未来成功打下坚实基础。

  • 参考译文：

    Some people don’t have to possess these qualities to succeed, but far more can’t do without them which lay the solid foundation for future success.

  • 我的回答：

    Some people can achieve their success without these qualities, but far more can not leave those which are supposed to found the basis for their future success.

  • 评价：

    can not 写为一个词 cannot

  • 学习：

    • 具有品质：possess … quality
    • 打下基础：found, lay a foundation